Lets talk about one of the, if not simply the, most iconic ship traveling the Universe today. It is not fancy, not luxurious, not expensive, but despite that even we here at The Monocle Times has to admit that it has a unique charm to it.
Of cause I'm talking about the RSIs Constellation lineup. RSI currently has four models on the market. Lets start with Aquila, a so called explorer for those not being able to afford a Carrack. Then there is the Taurus, classified as freighter that might make sense when ... well really never. Lets not forget about the Andromeda which is a 'well rounded' generalist that excels at absolutely nothing whatsoever.
The Phoenix is the last ship in the Lineup, and as observant readers might have noticed this ship is worth it's own paragraph. Obviously there is a bone to pick with this one. There is a thing to be said about pure luxury ships, they are quite useless, comfortable and little more then a status symbol. And all of that is nice and well, if anyone can appreciate that then it is probably me. However the one thing they are not supposed to be is cheap, and that is exactly what the Phoenix is. The Phoenix is a luxury vessel for those without means, the participation award for luxury space travel. Quite frankly I'd rather climb in a space suite and hold on to a Origen 890 Jumps hull for a trip then setting food in mediocre, budget 'luxury' vessel like the Phoenix.
Jet, despite on an objective scale being underwhelming, the Constellation has charm. Oddly enough walking through my garage, getting lost between landing gear and ramps the one ship I'd miss most would be the ugly duckling of a Constellation Andromeda. It won't fight well, or travel comfortable, it won't discover the next jumppoint or give haul megatons of platinum through the galaxy yet I feel an attachment to this ship like to no other. No other ship I've encountered symbolizes the utter and absolute freedom that is roaming the vast emptiness of the space as well as the Constellation.
So in a end there is a luxury ship hidden in the Constellation lineup, but it is not the Phoenix, which just doesn't cut it. It is the Andromeda, it's not the kind of luxury that is comfortable or shiny, nothing you show off to your friends to impress them but it is luxury as emotional attachment is really the only reason to own it. The Andromeda is luxury for the sole not the body, but luxury it is and at that it is the best in it's class.
Lets get back on track, after all this segnet is called Music of the 'Verse not why old men get sentimental around the RSI Constellation. As tradition dictates we dug through the archives to find the song that most captures the spirit of the constellation.
Let me present you 'Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere' by The Who. A song about freedom. The title alone reads like a tagline for the Constellation Andromeda. The song expresses the unparalleled amazement one experienced when first setting a foot on the Constellation.
It is hard to pick the most fitting verses from this song as it just is so perfect. Writing this I'm sitting on the bridge, if the three confusingly placed seats in the front of the Andromeda can be called that, a cup of tea on one armrest and my trusty notebook on the other. The Who's 'Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere' is blasting over the PA system with the refrain 'the way I choose, the way I choose, the way I choose' and I must admit a tear is running down my cheek, there is nothing I would rather do now to take this ship out for a spin and look at the marvels of the Universe through the vast window in front of me.
So what I would recommand is, if you don't have an Andromeda yet, go to your nearest ship vendor, buy one no matter how old and rusty it is and take it out to the Yela astroid belt and quietly float through the beautiful landscape with 'Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere' playing through out the ship. At least that is what I'm going to do now.
by Sir Quentin Reginald Watson
Yesterday Anvil Aerospace was scheduled to give out some additional detail on their Hurricane release. As many other news outlets The Monocle Times did submit a catalog of questions to Anvil in the hope to give our readers some more clarity on this ship. And a newspaper worth it's money (and hell we're worth our money!) we did ask the tough questions, the kind of questions Anvil would probably rather avoid.
And they did.
So before diving into what Anvil told us about the new Hurricane, lets talk about what they didn't tell us and get a bit into the why. As you can expect, despite Anvils reluctentness to come forward on those issue we did spare no expense to find an answer to you.
Will there be a platinum plated model?
Based on Anvils silence, no there wont be. However we did contact a few after market shops specializing in luxury vehicles and they confirmed that aside any technical issues surfacing after the final production they would gladly coat a Hurricane with a platinum finish.
Will it be possible to remove the ejection seat to make space for more important components such as an additional power plant?
As Anvil clearly fails to see how cheap pilots are they keep insisting on wasting space with ejection seats. To find an answer to this we contracted five reputable engineers that have worked in the avionics industry for years (and yet have shockingly cheap rates) to examine existing Anvil designs such as the Gladiator and tell us how feasible it is to replace the ejection seats with additional power generators.
Four of the engineers were unanimous on the fact that the ejection system so deeply embedded in the design that, no you can not replace it. The fifth told us "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and hung up, and subsequently was sued for breach of contract.
Will there be a wooden interior option for the Hurricane?
Again Anvil did not give us any details on this matter, however we let loose our four trusted engineers on the issue, again examining the current Gladiator design to come up with an answer to this question.
To no surprise they all came to the same conclusion, while some wood plating might be possible anything more will have a severe impact on the structural integrity of the ship. After pressed what that is supposed to mean they simplified the matter to "It would go boom".
Is the Hurricane capable of carrier operations?
This is a bit harder to answer but our trusty team of non sued engineers came up with what they call "a decent guess" adding quickly "but don't sue us over it the UEE holding back information makes this hard to tell!".
We mostly know that UEE certifies their carriers for the F7C/-M and the F7A, the Hurricane's dimension so come extremely close to those ships so it is quite possible that the Hurricane will be capable of operating form a carrier craft.
What Anvil did say
While we did originally intend not to echo the marketing material of Anvil after all of our questions being rejected, one of our readers who would prefer to stay anonymous so we will just call him 'SharpRifle' here, (what a stupid alias, I would have expected better from our readership, like 'GoldenSpoon' or 'ShinyEbony' hell even 'EdgyDiamond'), asked us to at least give a short summary so here it goes, The official Anvil Hurricane in one sentence:
Ship that can't fly very far with lots of guns that, more so on a possibly slave turret, that operates best in packs performing hit and run tactics but sone stupid engineer did a too weak power plant in it.
by Sir Quentin Reginald Watson
Here at the Monocle Times we often end up dealing with the more existential questions of the 'Verse. Fortunately we are not alone in this pursuit of the ultimate truth.
Just the other day a few of the chaps and me ended up talking in the club about a topic that I am sure many of our readers have pulled their hairs out about: What classical music best represents the ships in my fleet.
Many here are fans of the classical music of the 20th century and while much of what can only be describe as one of the heights of humanities achievement in the fine arts of music is lost today there are still many records remaining.
To simplify the matter we have focused on a single artist a kind of music that in it's time was called 'Rock' performed by some rather apeish looking fellers called 'The Who'.
As this matter, just as many of our fleets, is rather extensive I have decided to just feature a single song and ship per article.
And what song better do characterize this ship as 'Behind Blue Eyes'. A emotionally deep ballade exploring the emotional struggles of a young pirate who just learned that his first own vessel reads 'POLICE' on the outside.
The artists do a wonderful job at expressing the forth and back going on inside the young man. Constantly torn between eagerness to start robbing and the worries of rejection from his peers.
"No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to tell only lies", they sing giving us the deep inside in what trauma it must be to arrive at your first raid on a unsuspecting freighter in a shit featuring police sirens.
Before ending this article, and well knowing that not many cutlass blue pilots will be amongst our readership I want to say one more thing. It is OK to seek professional help, if you went through a trauma like this it isn't a sign of weakness if you desire council.
by Sir Quentin Reginald Watson