Moon Madness

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting The Admiral Social Club’s lounge enjoying an excellent cup of tea. Sadly, it is rare these days to find a good cup. One would think that with all the technology we have at our disposal brewing tea would be an easy task, yet most places serve dirty water rather than tea. However, this was almost, as good as back home on the Isles, just almost but what can you expect.

I digress, so I was sitting there, quietly sipping my tea in peace. At a nearby couch some chaps were deeply involved in a discussion, so deeply in fact that at times when one of them got excited it was impossible not to overhear a word or two.

The two words that stood out repeatedly were ‘race’ and ‘moon’. And while I got to admit I don’t care about either of those things very much on a personal level the reporter in me smelled an interesting story. And oh boy, an interesting story it is, or will be, I hope.

​It’s all a bit hush-hush. And despite trying hard, there was no on record or off record comment from anyone involved. Nonetheless here are the rough outlines. A few chaps are planning a big race, and when I write big, I mean big, around a whole moon. I will just put in a filler sentence in here to give you time to digest that. Now that you had some time: yes, a whole moon.

There is no when and where that can be shared yet. However, TMTs staff could confirm that a moon has been rented and the route is plotted out as we speak. And I would like to remind our readers at this point that The Monocle Times is the only newspaper in the ‘Verse where a sentence ‘a moon has been rented’ is more a side note then a story.

Anyhow back to the real story here, shockingly the racer of choice for this is a Drake Dragonfly. Drake of all things! And worst yet a damn space motorcycle. It utterly escapes me how any self-respecting human (or humanoid) could willingly subject themselves to drive around a whole moon on one of those things?

So, let’s just talk about that for a moment. The Monocle Times thoughts on Drake is probably well known. Still, even ignoring the lapse in judgement of picking a Drake craft, the club is not a place for the 99%, its exclusive and so are the members.

Why in the wide verse would anyone want to expose themselves to the horror of 5 hours on a damn space cycle? Obviously the first and only logical explanation are brain parasites. However, the chef assured me that all imported food is screened extensively.

​So, as much as it pains to say this, we couldn’t find out, this it seems to be one of the great mysteries of the Verse. Yet, The Monocle Times does not give up, we owe it to our readers to get to the ground of this. While we could not get any answers as of writing this article we will keep trying and get back to you with an update as soon as we have more information.

by
Sir Quentin Reginald Watson